Well that didn’t go to plan

This was meant to be a blog post about our little village, but it has somehow ended up being the musings of a forty-year-old with four kids.

Life is so damn busy; I am constantly trying to think of ways to simplify it, but I can’t find a solution without the kids having to give up something they enjoy, so we carry on running around the hamster wheel.

We live a very blessed life, and I am very grateful for the opportunities we have been given, but I constantly find myself in a rut where all I do is work and run around after kids.

I tell myself that I don’t have time to go for a walk, read a book, or even have a bath. How crazy is that? That you convince yourself that you don’t have time for basic human hygiene (dirty bitch πŸ˜‚)

So this morning, I made myself go for a walk! That sounds simple enough. But the reality was I argued with myself all morning about it. I was constantly telling myself that I didn’t have time; I had too much to do.

Once on the walk, I had that constant feeling of urgency. Like I had to rush back. Like something awful was going to happen if I didn’t get back to my desk or the house to start on the never-ending to-do list.

When did that happen? When did I stop permitting myself to relax? To just enjoy the moment? To just be?

Eventually, halfway around and after having a very stern chat with myself, I stood by the river and watched it.

Honestly, that was the first time I felt relaxed in months. I love the water. It honestly has some kind of spiritual effect on me.

Walking back to the car, I promised myself I would take the time that this would become part of my routine.

I then proceeded to berate myself about becoming too unfit, and I returned to the car just as stressed and angry with myself as I was at the start of the walk πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

What is the matter with my brain πŸ™ˆ I’m not sure. Is it just me?

But I know for sure that I need to start giving myself permission to stand still and just be.

If you haven’t lost the ability to do that, treasure it.

Anyway, if you have read this far and are still wondering about local walks πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

The last part of the Cumbrian Way runs from Dalston to Carlisle; this is where I walked today. It links up to other footpaths in the village, and once the gas pipe work is finished, you can walk from Dalston to Carlisle, away from the roads.


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